Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson

Sarcasm : a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark. A tongue of which the user speaks of something the complete opposite of what the user means. It often has the best comedic value.

     Sarcasm is inevitability a big part of my day to day life, and I have learned a lot about how it can and can't be used. My kind of sarcasm pushes people away. People I don't usually get along with are the ones who can't seem to comprehend my simple sarcasm. I use it because it gets my point across cause I don’t like being blunt and looking as though I don’t give a shit. I can be blunt to certain people, but I do realize what I'm saying. Keeping my criticism to myself is not easily done, I'd rather be too honest rather than real fake. People who despise sarcasm are usually the ones who get butt-hurt, it is meant for humor, not to offend anyone. It's my best defense against idiots as well.
    There however, comes with unwritten rules when using sarcasm.

1. Sarcasm does not work online. Don’t let them misunderstand you, if you’re going to write plain text through the internet, then give me some form or hint of sarcasm in your tone. Possible to pull off if you know the person well.
2.  Know when to draw a fucking line. As much as it is clever, it can also come off as crude, just don't be a condescending jerk.
   

     The things I do are usually in direct contrast with my sarcasm and cynical behavior. Obviously you do not know the back story to my sarcasm, but I use it to "state the obvious" because common sense is rare. Don’t ask me a question then answer it in the manner that you assume I will. Don’t be smart with me because my sarcasm will blow your mind. Sometimes i do need to tone down my sarcasm. I hope it doesn’t make me unapproachable. Is this 300 yet ?

So this week i have been put in many awkward situations. It's kinda funny when you think about it. In these times of eerie silences, all i can think to do is hold my awkward balloon and when you think that floated away, an awkward turtle waddles into your life. Whatever. It's like when you see someone wave at you so you wave back at them, but they're waving to someone else. Or when you go in for a fist bump and they try to shake your hand. When you tell a girl a rape joke, she was raped -_____-'. Or when your chair makes fart noises and everyone looks so you try to repeat it so they know it was the chair. Yeah, kbye. Happy holidays.